Unique You Nork

The other day I gave Andrew a few tongue twisters to try. He was actually fine with them until we got to Unique New York.  He could only seem to say Unique You Nork  (which is normal) and we all were laughing hysterically as he tried.  A few days later - he can say it just fine, but wants to say it wrong just to laugh. But I find it amazing that he literally can choose to say it correctly or incorrectly at any point! 

He has a fascination with Math right now. And not just simple equations. He'll ask you things like, "did you know that 10-4+2 is 8?" or "10+10-3 is 17"  or "10+10+10+10+10 is 50"  It seems like he is always working with numbers in his head, counting the people, cars, groups, or objects around him.

Last week he told me he wanted to eat in the cafeteria, not the lunch room. I told him I'd rather he eat lunches I pack because it's better quality food and will keep him healthy, but maybe some days he can choose to eat their food instead.  Monday morning I asked if he'd like to, and read him the menu, but he said no because he was too nervous to try the unfamiliar routine, it was 'scary'.  Tuesday, however, he told me he wanted to eat the cafeteria food. We looked at the "Taco Tuesday" menu and he wanted the "Frito Taco Salad."  I asked, "should I pack a regular lunch too just in case you change your mind?"  He said, "I don't think you can do that. I dont think it's allowed"  So I wrote a check for $2.40 and told him to be sure to let his teacher know that he was eating in the cafeteria so she can help him figure it out.  He was SO excited. When I was dropping him off, he didn't even say goodbye to me. Instead, he told the teacher helping him out of the car, "I'm going to eat in the cafeteria today! I'm so excited!!"
On the way to school, he asked me "If I pee off the moon, will it shower down on everyone?"  I suggested that it would more likely end up in orbit with the moon, but long term I really wouldn't know what would happen to it. But I was sure it wouldn't rain down on everyone like he was imagining.

After school Tuesday he wanted to ride his bike. It was crazy hot outside but I got some trimmers to snip the bushes by the sidewalk. I granted permission for him to drive his tractor in the front yard. He wanted to collect the clippings in his trailer and throw them over the fence in the back yard. I got him to stop doing that (they're prickly!) so he stood on his tractor and collected some leaves from a tree. By that point I'd cleaned up and was sitting on his green machine in the shade. He came by a few times and parked next to me to say hi. The second time, he was about to tell me something and his foot fell on the pedal and whisked him away. I could see him hitting the steering wheel and yelling at the tractor, "why did you do that?!..."  He returned saying, "Sorry about that!"   He nearly crashed into me one of the times he came by. He doesn't like being in first gear - only wants to be fast and he doesn't allow it to slow down early enough!

Wednesday morning we went to the county clerks office to work on getting Andrew a passport. We were crossing the street when he suddenly suspected Jail was inside the courthouse too and dug his feet into the pavement trying to go any further. We assured him we were not taking him to Jail. We got through the security checkpoint and waited for the clerks office to open. When we were leaving, the officer asked us to step aside for a minute as a bunch of inmates were being led in!  Striped jumpsuits, chains around their feet and ankles, and rough looking faces. I have to admit I was a little anxious seeing them all looking so criminal and watching us too; I'm sure Andrew felt the same.  He talked about jail nearly all the way to school. He seems to think it would be a neat place to go. He said, "When I go to jail, I'm gonna...."  and suggested the police would do whatever he asks for. We might have finally convinced him that it's a terrible place to go and people don't care about you or your feelings there, you will most likely get hurt more because the people there have done something really bad to get there. They're not going to ask him nicely to do something, they'll yell at him in a commanding way.  I reminded him that if he does something bad to warrant going to jail, he'd also have lost Jehovah's favor, and he surely wouldn't want to do that!  I urged him to just be the nice, kind, gentle person I know he is.
Once at school, I was trying to check him in - only about 15 minutes late for getting in the classroom, and probably only 5 minutes late for an actual activity... not bad.  He told the office we were late because he's going to St. Croix in October and they needed his picture first. I was still signing him in when they handed him a slip and told him to go to class. He hugged my leg and I barely patted him on the back and he was gone!  So glad I could tell him how much I love him as we walked in!

Andrew decided he wanted to talk at the door in service. So Friday evening I gave him an idea for a presentation and he liked it. He introduced himself, said he had a special tract that asks (read the front question), then turn it over and read the sample questions on the back, then read the little box that tells how you can find the bible's answers at jw.org.  Then he added, "here is your special copy." 
He worked it like a pro! 
Saturday morning he was mad about something and said he was never going to talk at the door. I told him that was fine, and it was between him and Jehovah - he wasn't hurting me with those words.
Once in the car we asked if he remembered his presentation. I started to demonstrate it as a reminder. I didn't even get to finish saying my name when he shouted, "I know the drill!" and decided to cooperate. He did remember the entire presentation.  He was very excited to share it with the service group too.

Once on the street, he asked me to take the first door, but he wanted to get all the rest of them. No one was home at that first door.  The next two were very sweet and kind to him. One was an older gentleman with a lot of yappy dogs. He closed the dogs inside and came out to listen to Andrew. Andrew gave an excellent presentation, and then I just added that we were out sharing good news with all people, because it doesn't matter what our religion or walk of life is - we have big questions. The website is designed to use the bible to answer them.  The man shook his hand and thanked him.
The next door, people were already outside - a group of them about to leave. The owner came down the driveway saying hi to us. When we got close enough Andrew introduced. The man squatted in front of Andrew and listened intently. When he was done, I again told the man why we were offering good news.  He thanked us, told Andrew he did an excellent job, and even offered us water since it was so hot outside.  We got back in the car for some water and snack while we waited for daddy and Bruce Wright to return too. Then he got another not-at-home with Bruce.  So technically, he placed three tracts.
I am so proud of him. He was so confident and sure of himself, didn't stumble over his words, made eye contact. I had to silently thank Jehovah for letting me share this moment with him.

 

Recently  Jamie Vaal was telling me that on the very first day of Kindergarten, they ended up having a substitute teacher in a class. I'm not sure why Andrew ended up in his presence, and I never knew that he had until this conversation.  But at the end of that day, this substitute told Jamie all about this really smart kid he met. He went on and on about how smart he is, and was even telling him about his digestive system and how it works.  lol… he was talking about my kid!  Jamie chuckled and said, "yeah, I've heard he's pretty smart!"  (the teacher didn't know we were friends.)

It made my day so much better!

A fortune cookie Andrew recently got, I find ironic given what happened at the convention. "There are no strangers here, only friends you haven't met!"  hmmm. 

At the Wednesday night meeting last week, we let Andrew sit with Samantha. He was pretty much in the middle of the hall. At one point, he had turned around in his seat and he was sticking two fingers toward his eyes and then pointing them at someone in the back. Then he pointed the fingers at his eyes, and then toward someone else.  That's what daddy does to say 'I'm watching you' but I don't know who Andrew was doing it to.
On the way home from meeting, I guess he scratched the cut under his nose. He fussed that it burned and then asked, "Why did Jehovah design me this way?!" We told him it's so we'd learn to care about ourselves and be aware of danger and what can hurt us. But it is healing, though slowly it seems.

I also forgot to mention that last Tuesday we went to Nashville. Andrew had decided to try and tune his violin himself (ha!) and the sound got compleeeeetely messed up. The teacher had told us that he could now sport the next size up, so I thought it'd be a good day to go do exchange it.  As we were walking to the building he begged me not to say anything to them about changing it's sound. I promised I wouldn't. Inside he right away told them he wants to play the fiddle and that cellos are boring. He finally got to see a cello in person, though, as well as a double base which is huge!
After that stop, we headed over to see Grandma Bess.  He got the grand tour of the entire house, from top to bottom. When she asked if we should go to lunch, Andrew asked, "Would you like to go to McDonald's? it would kill mommy."  [he didn't get to play after the Friday convention so we suggested maybe Saturday after dinner he could go to McD's to play instead of swim at the hotel... but that didn't work out either because I got sick so he just had to swim. But daddy had told him we wouldn't eat there because the food would kill mommy.. lol]  I explained all that to Bess, and she said she couldn't imagine that we really ever ate there. We all enjoyed some excellent mac n cheese at J. Alexanders instead.

Another thing I forgot to mention in last week's post was that on the way home from his first day of school, I told him I had prayed for him to have a good day. He made a loud inhale and exclaimed, "You made my day so much better!" 

Saturday afternoon daddy was splitting some wood. Andrew put it in the trailer of his little John Deere and then hauled it to the front door. He left it all in a pile at the front door so you couldn't even open it! He enjoyed having that job though.
Later he drove it into the backyard but I couldn't find him. He had driven it to the fence, in between two tall bushes, and was standing on top of the tractor with his arms draped over the fence... hoping to catch the attention of our neighbors (Amber and whoever she was playing with.)  I yelled to him to get down and give them privacy and then went into a coughing fit (sore throat the last couple of days) and the dogs went crazy.  I guess Andrew thought he was going to get in a trouble because he begged me not to tell daddy.  He started the 'don't tell...." when Katara was here. I only heard her say, "oh, don't tell your mom, she'll be mad at you" once, but I've assured him several times that I wont get mad at him for telling me things - I appreciate hearing about them rather than discovering them myself, whatever it is.  I don't think he's convinced of that yet.

Saturday night, he got out of bed, opened his door, crawled back in bed and started calling for me. His problem?  He needed to scoot down in his bed.  Seriously?? I told him that when I tell him to scoot down - he does it himself, I just move the pillow (which is he perfectly capable of doing himself too.)  Silly boy.

One day he let me do an acu-oil session on him. I was asking questions for myself outloud and he heard me say that I had to put it on the meridian for the kidneys. He tapped both sides of his chest with his fingers and said, "it's here. The kidneys are here."  I looked at my meridian model and he was actually spot on! The kidney meridian runs down both sides of the chest exactly where he had been pointing. 

He earned another Lego set. As much as he has protested about practicing or going to lessons, I wasn't sure he'd ever get to open it. When he got down to 10 more practice sessions to earn it, he got more interested. He really wanted the forklift, the truck that came with it was just bonus to him.

Mommy was sick so daddy got him to and from school Monday and to violin. He was in good spirits, but definitely a full and long day for him. 
Tuesday afternoon I picked him up from school. As he climbed in the car he immediately asked me how I was feeling and he was glad to see me as he thought daddy would be getting him. He told me he had missed me and asked if I missed him. Then he asked me if I cried.  I told him I did not, but I had prayed for him to have a good day. He smiled and said, "And it made my day so much better! You know who did that? (he started to say Jehovah) Jesus! I really like Jesus." 
He told me he talked to a girl at school about Jehovah and she didn't know about Him. His sentences confused me a bit so I don't really know how his conversation went with her, but he told her she was wrong. Then he asked me, "she's not going to live in Paradise, is she?"  I explained to him that it's all up to Jehovah. That there are plenty of good people who truly want to please Him and try to do what is right, they just don't know that they don't have the truth or haven't fully learned about Jehovah. That there will be people in Paradise who don't know Jehovah and we'll get to teach them without Satan's influence.  He didn't have a reply.
Then before getting out of the car he started to tell me something then said, "Nevermind. I don't want to tell you because it was a bad decision."  I assured him again that he is free to tell me anything he ever has to say - good or bad. I would rather hear it from him if he wants to talk.  He started to tell me about the other day when daddy said Amber (neighbor) could come over for a little while and she convinced him the best way to get into his yard is to bring his tractor to the front yard. I'm guessing he thought it was a 'bad decision' because he knows he's supposed to stay in the back yard.

Thursday after school we hung out at the park. At first, no one else was there. Andrew sat and watched every car go by - hoping one would stop. Eventually a couple came.  One kid was in another Kindergarten class at the school and drove Andrew crazy by not answering a question as simple as 'who is your teacher' or 'what is your name'. He kept trying to give Andrew clues and making him guess, but Andrew doesn't know all the teachers yet. I got tired of listening to it and finally told Andrew if it was that important to him - to go ask the mom!  Andrew did and was very pleased to get an answer.  There was something I really didn't like about this kid. He wasn't being 'bad', but he just seemed like the type who would be deceptive and misleading. (and I was right)  And when the other boys wanted to play swords and battle and protect their "ships" ... Andrew of course wanted to play too. I wouldn't let him play with them at first because they were in the dried up creek and throwing rocks, later they were swinging sticks around and running with them, or climbing on the outside of the bridge instead of walking on it. Then they were kicking and poking trees.  It was driving me crazy and there was no one else for him to play with. The longer Andrew tried to play with them, the more he started tuning me out, and getting more aggressive in his behavior. Daddy had a long talk about it with him at bedtime.
Friday morning we reviewed with him too - if other boys are wanting to play fight - what do we do?  "We don't play. It's up to Jehovah to kill the bad guy."  Right. It's not our place, it's Jehovahs. And if someone kills the bad guy, they no longer have a chance to learn about Jehovah and change their ways.   He accepts it in his head - but I know he wishes he could just play along anyway.
Friday he came home from school with a new toy. This is the 3rd one this week. I asked him what he has to do to get a prize from the treasure box and he says, "nothing."  Finally today a teacher said he was on 'Gold' today (they have behavior sticks and their names get moved up or down on it) so he got a treasure.  I never know the right questions to ask him to find out what happens at school and what he gets to do. I did learn today that when they come in from outside, they have to put their heads down on their tables - and if they do, they get skittles (or in Andrew's case, jelly beans w/out food dye). And when they line up to go someplace, they have to stand in their own tile square, link their fingers behind their back, and 'catch a bubble' that makes them silent as they walk.  

Compass, Conventions, and Kindergarten!

There is a song called Compass that we listen to sometimes. One lyric says, "so let your heart, sweet heart, be your compass when you're lost and you should follow it wherever it may go." Recently Andrew told me, "mommy, I want to be your compass."   He melts my heart when he expresses the love and compassion I know is in there.

Thursday, July 31st, we headed off to Kentucky to stay in a hotel for the District Convention held in Evansville.  He's been very excited to add two more states to his list of 'visited'. We all used backpacks as our bookbags to make it easier and be able to stuff them under seats. Andrew loved getting to use his lime green backpack we bought especially for Kindergarten. It's his favorite color.

Andrew was almost perfect on Friday. Mostly still and quiet. There was just one point that he was frustrating me and in sign language I begged him to please stop. He finally pulled out his notebook and wrote, "I'm sorry mom" on the paper. I drew a heart on it to let him know I appreciated what he wrote and he started drawing hearts too.
He made friends with everyone around us. He kept asking, "Mom, can I go talk to her?" and would strike up a conversation.  There were two girls probably a little younger than me that really took to him. They are apparently Nannies in Brentwood (Rena is one of them, I can't remember the other.) They sat in front of us on Friday and were very impressed with his good behavior and conversation skills. Andrew noticed she had a pen that had 4 different colors on it to write with and wanted to know what happened to the one he used to have. He told her he really liked her pen.   Those girls called out to him each day to say hi whenever they saw him, and on Sunday Rena went back to her seat and found the pen and gave it to him to keep. It made his weekend! Especially because half the pen was lime green, and one of the ink colors were green... his favorite color.
He was really excited that Lauren would be getting baptized on Saturday. He ran up to Gail Wetzel and told her that Lauren Chumley was getting baptized Saturday. She asked if he meant Lauren Milke and he said no, Chumley.  Then he came back to me and asked. I told him it was Lauren Milke.  He asked, "is it Lauren Chumley Milke? or Lauren Milke Chumley?" I told him there was no Chumley in her name, that Barry wasn't her daddy. It was just Lauren Milke. He looked distressed and said he needed to go find sister Wetzel again to "correct it because she won't know who it is!"  I told him I was certain Gail would figure it out.
Saturday I was not well and he asked a lot of questions about things he was hearing or telling me about things he saw. I tried to show him how to listen for certain words like Jehovah, Jesus, Brother, Sister, etc and draw a tally mark. He tried, but pretty much told me to tell him whenever I heard one and he'd record it.  Eventually he was making a mark and handing the notebook back to me because he didn't want to hold it, but then wanted it back when he heard a word. That got tiring too. Daddy's security shift started during lunch and went for a couple of hours. Andrew got to see Lauren get baptized and then we followed them outside. He ran around and played with a couple of other young kids.

I finally had to leave early. I had to take the elevator because I couldn't walk to the escalator without having to rest somewhere. We slowly made our way outside and across a parking lot. I couldn't get to the garage though, I had to sit on the sidewalk and rest. A cheerful friendly man started to ride by on his bicycle while telling himself to be careful not to cause a traffic accident. Andrew called out to him, "hey, would you like to come hang out with us?" And the guy turned around and stayed as Andrew told him how mommy wasn't feeling well and that we were in Evansville for the convention and staying at a hotel, etc etc etc.  The stranger started telling us false stories about needing a plastic piece for some engine part (that doesn't have plastic), and that he's borrowing his daughters bike and he needs new this and new that for all these things. He finally came out and asked Ted for money too which Ted nicely replied that he didn't carry any to give. I prayed to Jehovah during this and soon a brother came out to see if we need help. He had seen us from a window and saw us trying to cross the parking lot and me resting. He came out to offer assistance - and his timing was great. It got the stranger to leave, gave Andrew someone safer to talk to, and daddy a chance to go get the car. Joe Ramey from Glasgow, KY. 
We had to get onto Andrew and explain to him how that situation was potentially dangerous and that
he really needs to stop being so forward and free with strangers. I know he doesn't fully understand.

Monday we went to pick up our raw milk. I tried to get him thinking about if one gallon of milk costs $5, and I want two gallons, how much money do I need to give the lady. He needed help with that concept. So then I held up two $5 bills and said, "I want two gallons of milk. One piece of paper will get me one milk - how many papers do I need to give her."  He got that one. I gave him the money and let him pay the lady for the milk.
Then it was off to pick up the puppies from boarding. Boy were they excited to see us!

Tuesday evening we went to the school for Open House and met his teacher, Andrea Hobbs. I think she'll be good for him. She likes to talk in sign language and sometimes in Spanish too. She loves math and reading and looks forward to trying to find things to challenge him with.

Wednesday morning I knew Andrew was outside playing but I couldn't see him. I called and he didn't answer. I finally step farther out on the deck and see him at the fence talking to Mr. Brown who had stopped working to talk. He came running then and said, "I was about to tell him about Paradise and you interrupted!"  I said, I'm sorry and asked him what he did get to say.  He said, "Paradise is coming!" I told him that was great and next time Mr. Brown will be interested to hear all about Paradise and what he wants to do there.

Thursday morning Andrew wanted to be with Lauren. I told him that wasn't an option but we could go in service to be with friends, or he can stay home and play. He chose service. That didn't work out because the only ones who showed up were wearing fragrances. So I let him get a donut (and hand the cash to the cashier) and eat it at the park.  A few minutes before we left, Andrew was telling another parent that her kids were being mean to him and that mean kids don't make it to Paradise.  I didn't bother saying anything.

Friday morning, August 8th, was the first day of Kindergarten. I printed off two "First day" posters to take photos with. Daddy stayed home longer to get to be a part of taking him to class and help him get ready. Pictures are always hard. He forgets to stay looking at the camera, he doesn't know if he's really smiling or not, or what his attempt looks like. He buckles his knees or locks his knees. He hides his face behind the paper or holds it so far out in front of him he'd be out of focus. When he gives his natural and best smile - his eyes are closed or he's looking somewhere else, or I catch him with his eyes halfway closed during a blink.If he doesn't smile, it looks depressed.  It gets frustrating for all of us. I dont really know how to change it either, but he's always a trooper. This Friday was no exception.. and to make it worse he has a dress code to follow that requires polo shirts and belts which coupled with his wet, perfectly neatly combed hair - made him kind of look nerdish sometimes. I tried to get him to hold the sign to hide the belt since that did help a bit. Eventually I tried to mess up his hair a little too. But then I get mad at myself that I pay attention to these little details when I know they shouldn't matter... and they do not matter to him now and may not later either. He is a beautiful, healthy, happy child - and that is all that should matter. Not what he is wearing or where he is looking or how he is holding a sign. 
Sensing my frustration wasn't hard, and he did try to do whatever we asked. I finally gave up, thinking surely we got at least one in there!  When I got in the car he said, "Mommy, I love you."  It's so humbling. I imagine Jehovah is like that. He can see us frustrated or sick or at our worst version of ourselves - and still say, 'I love you' to us. I hope Andrew never loses that quality.  Even recently when his best child friend told him she didn't want to be friends that day - he still held her in high esteem, knowing it'd probably blow over. 
We walked him to class together, and ended up being there in time to respectfully stand for the pledge. He looked up at me and smiled when it was done - I guess because it was the first time he got to be with someone else who doesn't say it either (us) and was proud of himself for not participating. So we had to briefly tell the teacher that he knows to be respectful but he won't participate. She was cool with it. He will be her first JW student, but she's had friends who are JWs so she was at least familiar.

Friday afternoon I eagerly sat in the pick up line waiting for the students to be let out. He got in the car, all smiles. I asked him how his first day of Kindergarten was and he said, "it was awesome!"  But the only other thing I got out of him was that he got to read a lot of books at rest time or something.  In his backpack, the teacher wrote a note saying he had an excellent first day, and he got to be the line leader for the day and did an exceptional job.  There was a little toy he got from the treasure chest (I asked what he had to do to get to pick a prize and he said, 'nothing' so I dont know what the reward was for) and some stickers. 

After being home for a bit, he slipped in the bathroom and hit his nose on the cabinet. There was a tiny bloody line at the base of his nose, and then his nose ran a little bit with blood. It freaked him out a bit, so I explained that bleeding is good because it keeps germs out. I ended up just letting him sit and watch the Magic Schoolbus so I could make some immune-boosting soup for dinner.
After dinner he enjoyed practicing basketball with the inflatable pool set and then playing in a bath.

A John Deere for Andrew

Sunday morning we went over to the Arnold's house. Daddy helped Tony Pingle cut up some wood and I watched the kids as they played. Andrew fell in love with their battery operated John Deere jeep.  He and Samantha fought over it a bit. 
After the meeting we hung out with Miller family. After having half a burger, he asked for a "salad sandwich."  I asked him what that was and he said, "You know... some spinach, and tomato.." and rattled off some vegetables.  I told him we had lettuce, tomato and cheese which make a good sandwich.  Around 9pm he started getting really sleepy and cuddly and asked if he could go home to sleep.  I mentioned we did need to leave because he has a pediatrician appointment in the morning. Paitin told him all about getting shots and vaccinations which really got him scared.

Monday he had his "well-baby" appointment to be doctor approved for Kindergarten. He slept in until 8:13 and we had to leave at 8:30. I slipped him into play clothes quickly and packed food and milk to eat on the run. The whole way there he was asking about needles and shots and I assured him that he wasn't getting any shots. 
The nurse and doctor were very pleased with his development - his speech and knowledge and understanding. They said the raw milk I give him is the best kind of milk. They were thrilled that I use essential oils and herbs instead of traditional medicines, and pleased that he has a good diet. When the dr was done asking him a bunch of questions, she asked if he had any questions for her.  He said, "Yeah. What is two thousand plus one thousand?"  He was impressed that she got it right. lol  Then when we thought it was done, she said they had to check his iron and that would involve a finger prick. Andrew panicked. I had assured him they would not use needles. I told him I didn't know about this one and that it really won't be so bad. It doesn't go as deep as needles for shots, that it just has to break the skin to get some blood out. "Will they put the blood back in when they're done?"  I explained the entire process to him, but he was very nervous.  I gave him a lollipop to suck on when they came back in, and he didn't even wince when they poked him. He thought they put the bandaid on in a silly way (half off his finger and squished).  But he was very proud of himself for not crying or making any noises.
But it did make for a difficult violin practice.  We stopped at Ann Arnold's house on the way home as she needed some help. We were there for a few hours (And he enjoyed having the John Deere all to himself!)  When we got home, he went to his dark room and fell fast asleep. I had a hard time waking him up an hour and a half later to take him to violin!  He was still sleepy, and a little emotional, and begged to stop playing the violin. Then when he put his poked finger on the strings, it hurt. She was good about trying to avoid using that finger for practice, but he still was holding back tears.
On the way home we saw the Pingles at the Arnolds loading up more wood. So we picked up daddy and popped over to help, and then picked daddy's truck up from the mechanic. Andrew was excited to get to ride in the truck again.
We came home and Andrew asked for a salted cucumber for dinner, so he had that and fresh tomato with basil and cheese, corn, and a mouthful of baked spaghetti.  He tried a slice of fresh jalapeno and about guzzled my raw milk down trying to find relief.  The chocolate quinoa avocado brownie did the trick for him.   He was so ready for bed.

Ann's grandkids call Fred "Pap-pap"  and Andrew tried to get his attention, mistakenly calling him "Pup-pup."   He's starting to learn other people's nicknames and not calling them by their first and last names.

Tuesday morning, it was a little chilly. Andrew shared the bathroom with me since I was running a heater as I showered. He tried to get dressed but didn't want to do all the buttons himself on the shirt he chose. So when I got out, I helped.  He stared at my chest and said, "Mom, your boobs look funny."  I asked what made them look funny. He asked, "what are those?" and I told him they were my nipples and that he has them too.  "Why are yours so big?"  So I told him that mine had to be able to feed him when he was a baby.  He gave me a strange look and asked, "Did I do this to them?" as he made the sign for milk like he was milking a cow. I told him he put his mouth on them and sucked like it was a bottle. [I'm glad I have a track record of just telling him things straight up - because I'm pretty sure he would think this is a most outlandish story otherwise! Especially with the looks he was giving.]  He asked if they still have milk in them and I said no and explained that after he stopped nursing, I stopped making milk.  He seemed to accept it all, though still thinking it was strange, and let up with the question.
  He wanted some tea and while we were waiting for the hot water he gave me a big hug. I picked him up and he walked his feet right up my body, but his foot caught in my jeans pocket and then he stood up - nearly pushing my pants off!  He loved standing taller than me and was going to try and climb higher until I told him that I wouldn't be able to hold him and he'd fall.

I offered to buy someone's almost new John Deere ride on tractor since their 4 year old just wasn't interested in it after riding it twice. They accepted my offer and we went to pick it up. Andrew was really excited to have it and drove it all over the yard. It has a detachable trailer but it was hard finding anything to put in it at first.
After lunch we went to keep Ann company. I helped with a couple of chores and Andrew drove her John Deere truck around the yard collecting sticks, rode his bicycle around, ate some cherries, and convinced Ann to play checkers and connect 4 with him on her ipad. They were a riot to watch as they were trying to convince each other to let them win.  Anytime Andrew won a game Ann told him to do a happy dance. He was so silly.  When she won he told her to do a happy dance and she'd sit and wave her arms excitedly with a big smile and laugh.  We had lots of laughs and enjoyed being together.  A few times he "ate her" checkers piece and said, "Sorry pail!"  (instead of sorry pal)
As soon as we got home again, Andrew was off on his tractor and invited a neighbor boy over to play. Miranda arrived at 5 to babysit so we could go to dinner. They had a great time together and watched a movie. We played hard together later... I stole his cape and became supermom and chased him a bit and tickled him and swung him around. We were just silly. We stood at opposite ends of the hallway and pretended to spiderman shoot webs at each other and he came out of his room with his laundry hamper mesh sack over his body like a web he was trapped in.

A Day Without a Mommy

There is no point in going into how horrible this past year has been on the three of us. We are doing so much better now that we can focus on us again, but we're still picking up the pieces of our old selves and trying to nurture them back to life. The patient, soft and gentle, obedient, respectful, calm, giving people we always were before drama and trauma that my journey to change careers brought.  My patience and tolerance was definitely worn so thin it barely existed. And Andrew was more defiant and challenging, disrespectful, and learned to be emotionally manipulative. So of course, we've butt heads plenty.  Monday - I wasn't going to put up with it.
  He was being demanding, uncooperative, and acting depressed or mad if he didn't get something he wanted - anything that could possibly get some attention at the very least. He pretended to be helpless and incapable of doing even the most basic tasks that I know he can do.  I was getting to work painting the walls in my studio and he wanted to ride bikes. So I moved some painted shelving out of the way so he'd have access to his bikes. He wanted the Green Machine, so I backed it out of the gym for him. He got mad that I didn't "turn it" for him. I told him he could turn it and reminded him he didn't even try.  He shoved the bike and it rolled back to where it started.  He shoved it harder and it came back again.  He mumbled a few things and then stood there with his arms crossed and a moping face staring at the ground.  I kneeled before him and asked him if something had happened that was causing him to have a bad day, and if I could help in some way. He wouldn't respond. I used my finger to wipe some sweat and dirt off his nose and he punched me in the throat.  So I got up and walked away without even saying anything other than oww.
   My walking away made him turn around and plead, "I didn't mean to do that!"  I turned back to face him and asked, "you really expect me to believe your arm just randomly flopped out to hit my neck? You may not have meant to hurt me, but you did mean to hit me."
  A few minutes later he went on a rampage of how he hates his bike and wants a new one. I asked him why he hated it. He said the pedals get stuck and he can't make it go and has to get off the bike.  (only at the bottom of the driveway.)  I suggested the pedals weren't stuck, but maybe just hard to push on when he's at the bottom of the hill and trying to come up. That it will get easier with time. He madly insisted he hates the bike (repeatedly) and demanded a new one.  I told him it was brand new - and one of the few ride on toys that he has that didn't have a previous owner actually. He wasn't satisfied.   Then he started telling me about other things he hates that I'd given him. 
   I finally had enough.  I told him that if he doesn't want any of his things - that's fine. But I'm not buying anything new for him. Especially not when he doesn't appreciate what he does have. I reminded him "not every kid has a bike, not every kid has a lego table, not every kid even gets three meals a day and snacks ... and not every kid even has a mommy to help them with everything or to buy them toys. You could be without a mommy some day. I could die in a car crash and you'd be left wishing you had a mommy to help you and do things for you and buy you stuff."  So I told him that I was no longer going to be mommy today. Anything he wanted or needed - he was going to have to figure out on his own. He didn't even have to call me mommy - he could call me Amanda for the day if he wanted to. Because I'm not going to be mommy. I told him I wasn't going to help him get food or drinks, not going to help with bikes or anything else. And by the end of the day, he'll realize how much I do for him and he can learn to appreciate what he has or he can do without. I told him Jehovah doesn't make us serve him. I'm not going to make you love me and appreciate me either. But I don't have to give you anything else either.
  He was mortified! He couldn't believe that I would stop taking care of him. "YES YOU WILL" he said in a deep stern voice.  I told him I'm not.  "Do you want me to break all my toys?"  I replied, "If you break all your toys, then you won't have any and I'm not going to buy new ones."  Then he asked, "Do you want me to be unhappy?"   I looked him in the eyes and said, "NO! I don't want you to be unhappy. I want you to have nice things and get to do fun things ... but you are not going to be rude and disrespectful and hurtful to me all the time and continue to get what you want. I want us all to be happy."   He stopped the inquisition for a little while.
   Later he came in, "Mommy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. {pause}  Does that fix it?"  I reminded him that saying sorry doesn't fix things - just like breaking a clock and saying sorry doesn't fix the clock. (that also happened earlier in the morning.)  He gasped, "Is THAT what this is about? breaking the clock? Is that why you won't take care of me?!"   I calmly said, "No... it has nothing to do with the clock. I don't care anymore about the clock. It upset me at the time, but this is about how you speak to mommy, how you treat mommy, and how you don't appreciate what you are given." and reminded him of what happened in the gym and driveway earlier. In a sweet, gentle voice,  "Mom, I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you. Will you take care of me now?"   I told him no and he blew up angry. "Why not??!"   I reminded him that I had already told him I was not going to take care of him the rest of the day.  I would get him to violin lesson, but until then - I was not being mommy.  He still couldn't believe this was actually happening.   
   Several times during the day he'd tell me, "I love you mom."  But then he'd turn around and be rude or demanding and yell, "but I want ____!"  and tell me that I was going to do it for him. He was towering over me as I was on the floor painting along the baseboard level. I told him I don't get everything I want either.  I don't want to keep picking up his toys, I don't want to be painting, I don't want to cook every day and do laundry. But I suck it up and I do it!  And daddy helps me with things because he appreciates my hard work and time."  I told him ways he could be helpful to but I don't know if he was really listening.
   I did offer to share my smoothie lunch with him, which he promptly spilled on the floor and I did the cleaning up. And I did monitor and direct him when he said he was going to have eggs for lunch. I didn't really want a dozen eggs on the floor to clean up.  And I got the eggs out of the pan for him since that would be hard for him to do.  And I did lose a bandaid battle. He was insistant that I get him a bandaid (he ran his fingers down the outside of my window air conditioner and cut one finger) and I insisted he figure out on his own. He's always getting bandaids for non-injuries, he can do this. He about fell apart in a puddle of tears at that point and he still hadn't even tried to open the bandaid. I let him get as far as him trying to put the bandaid on and it getting all tangled before helping him.
   I didn't even tell him he had to take a nap before he started snapping at me that he wasn't going to take one. I ignored that even though he followed me around griping.
  He was cooperative about getting to violin - even though he told me he hates the violin and will never ever play it. lol  He had a decent lesson despite that attitude - though every single lesson now he starts complaining that his legs are tired and he just needs to sit down.
   Daddy had a long talking to him before dinner. He had asked Andrew if he was having trouble listening or needed help understanding. "Daddy, I need help understanding." So they talked about matters and events. Somewhere in there daddy reminded him of the story of Noah and how he did "just so" for whatever Jehovah commanded.  I did come in during their chat and apologize for yelling so quickly at Andrew when he got angry with me when I said no he could not play a game on my computer. I told him I could have handled it better than I did. And I left.
   Andrew was reprimanded but also shown better ways to talk to me several times during dinner. It was helpful having daddy present to model kindness and respect toward me. We were eating sushi and he wanted bites of our sushi. I offered to trade with him and he didn't like that idea. Daddy told him we don't always get something for nothing. Daddy and I traded a piece and that got Andrew interested. He told me he'd trade his last bite for one of mine. So we did. I gave him an extra one just because I knew it was hard for him to come to that decision.
  Monday night during bedtime prayer, daddy mentioned "circuit overseer brother Bosier" and Andrew whispered, "you mean brother Mosier."  Ted was impressed that he even knew.

Tuesday he was doing better.  Daddy left him a note and in it reminded him to do "just so" and be kind. He was so proud of himself when he obeyed me about something and said, "I did just so, didn't I?"   I let him help me paint the cabinet doors outside - he did a pretty good job.

I think it was Wednesday, we were eating dinner at the table and I complimented Andrew and told him something I appreciated about him.  His response was, "What am I gonna get?"  He was expecting some sort of treat for being good or whatever it was.  Kind of ruined that moment.
I had a talk and Miranda sat with us at the hall. Andrew was really excited to have a friend sitting with us. And he volunteered to read a scripture before either of us had our Bible's ready - but read it almost perfectly and was pleased.  Plus Miranda helped him get another answer later in the meeting.


Thursday we hung out with Nana and Papa as they picked out a new Nissan Altima. While they were test driving one, we hung out in the lobby where there was a GT, an Altima, and another car. We were about to sit and read books together when he announced, "When our car stops working, I want to come back here and buy that fast black car (the GT). I want to buy it."  

Friday he was soooo good. We had to run some errands in the morning - picking up bulk peaches and non-gmo corn, and twenty minutes west to a new place to pick up raw milk. He got to sit out on the front porch of this little country store drinking a lemonade. It was so pleasant.  Then we headed up to Franklin to take daddy some lunch, browse really quickly at a flooring store, and to a party at Goofballs.  There were several friends there, but he still mainly played by himself.  I finally got him to try the bumper cars - and he totally owned it! He LOVED them too.  I think his lawn mowing skills allowed him to have the most fun and control over the bumper cars. He loved making them spin fast and then running into someone. And it felt like he was getting to actually interact with other people on some level. He felt included when I told him not to worry about food coloring since it was a party. Even though he could have had pink lemonade, he chose Sprite. I did let him eat his Airhead and a tootsie pop after having cake. We played with some kinex and legos when we got home and then he spent the evening at Joy's house. He got to go to the park where the town was having a family fest, and then came back for some ice cream and a tv show of Peg and Cat.  He was very pleasant and agreeable when we picked him up.  I was so tired I couldn't walk straight and he helped me to the car and when I started falling sideways he yanked on my arm to keep me straight. Then he insisted on helping me into the car and making sure I was settled before closing the door. Such a sweetie.

I remembered that in the past, when Andrew was in a phase of being disagreeable, or easily upset - I could play Kingdom songs and he'd be more calm and agreeable. So on Thursday morning, I put several on a cd to play in the car. I dont know if that made the difference, but he's been so much better the last few days - we both have.

Saturday he enjoyed the morning of service but knew we were expecting several friends for dinner in the evening. He kept watching the clock and asking how to make the time go faster. Though he did seem to understand how crazy life would get if everyone could change their own time - we'd never know when to be someplace, what if our 5 o'clock was their 6 o'clock?  We'd be late! He was cuddled on the couch with a blanket, positioned to watch the clock.  I did tell him that if he goes to sleep, then it will seem like time went by faster.  "Okay, I'll do that"  He went to his room and put himself to bed and took a good nap!